A Series of Fortunate Events
by snow-in-my-room
Summary: Merida DunBroch is the star archer of Burgess High. Brash and tempestuous, she couldn't be any more different than the frosty-haired, pale-skinned Jack Frost. But with the help of Rapunzel Gothel and Hiccup Haddock, fire and ice might just be able to meet in the middle. [Cover by Hubedihubbe]
1. First Impressions

**First Impressions**

* * *

The thing about senior year was the fact that nobody really tried. Sure, there were kids like Henry "Hiccup" Haddock, who had an actual liking for school and probably studied during the whole of summer. Or maybe they were like Rapunzel Gothel, who dabbled in everything and loved pretty much anything she tried. But mainly they were like Jack Frost and Merida DunBroch, who were both on cruise-control for the rest of the year.

At least, Merida was doing so in secret. If her overly strict mother, Elinor, ever found out about the seventeen-year-old's apathy towards school (and her liking for playing hooky) Merida would never hear the end of it. She couldn't wait until the end of the year, when she'd finally be free!

Now, there was about a week left before the start of school. Merida was honestly dreading the long hours to be spent in a cramped classroom learning about things she'd never use in real life. It was still summer, for god's sake! Summer was a time to be outside and bask up the sun and go on adventures, not for sitting at a desk listening to some teacher drone on about calculus.

She was currently outside, having an obligatory tussle with her three little brother. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful, windy day. It just made her yearn for more days like this. Where had the summer gone?

Her nostalgia was interrupted by her mother. "Merida! Get down here! We have guests."

Guests? At ten in the morning?

"Coming, Mum," she called back a little reluctantly. Hamish, Hubert, and Harris all let out various groans of disapproval, and eventually followed Merida into the house by the back door.

She grabbed an apple on the way to the front of their manor, biting into the red fruit while tossing her bow onto a chair. She had wanted to practice her archery, but it apparently had to wait.

"Mum, who- oh!"

Standing awkwardly in the doorway next to his mammoth of a father was her childhood friend, Hiccup Haddock. "Hic! What're you doing here?"

"Merida," her mother groaned, giving her a _look. _

"I mean, er, nice to see you, I wasn't expecting you! Why don't you come out back with the triplets?" Before he had time to say anything, she grabbed his sleeve and steered him to the back door, pausing to grab her bow and arrows.

Once they were outside, she relaxed. Hiccup was looking at her as if he was slightly afraid of the redhead. Ever since they had entered high school, the once-best friends had veered off into completely different groups. Hiccup hung with the nerds, Merida with more of the sporty type.

"What was that for?" he hissed. Merida shrugged.

"Mum was about to lecture me. Now, c'mon!" She headed off towards the stables. Hiccup gaped and gestured with his hands.

"Well, I, ah, was thinking of sitting quietly inside, but I guess…" he trailed off and followed Merida with a sigh.

Her Clydesdale, Angus, was as intimidating as ever. He pawed the ground and snorted nervously when Hiccup peered into the stables. Merida patted his flank and reached for her phone.

"Punz is coming over," she absentmindedly informed Hiccup. Hiccup nodded. The cheerful blonde, who'd been homeschooled until tenth grade, was friends with both Hiccup and Merida- as well as pretty much everyone in school.

"How'd she convince her mom to let her out?"

"Oh, she didn't. She slips out once in a while. Gothel's too busy checking her own reflection to notice." Merida sat down heavily on an upturned bucket and looked speculatively at Hiccup, who squirmed under her bright blue gaze. "It's been a while," she noted.

"Yeah. Yeah, it has." He laughed nervously. "So. Senior year, huh? Finally."

"I can't wait!" The new voice made both Merida and Hiccup jump. They turned to the door, where Rapunzel was standing. Her blonde hair had grown out to her knees (she'd braided it up) and her green eyes were sparking brightly. Hiccup smiled- the sight of her always made him smile, she just had that effect on everyone- and waved. Rapunzel patted Angus's head and turned back to the entrance.

"I brought a friend. He moved in next door."

"From where?"

"Two blocks away."

Merida glanced up sharply at the new voice, instantly recognizing it- how could she not? And, sure enough, standing in the doorway, was Jack Frost.

Hiccup made a funny choking noise, his emotions playing across his face. "Rapunzel? You- you do know who that is, right?"

"Yeah! Jack, meet Hiccup and Merida! Merida, Hiccup: meet Jack!" Rapunzel beamed at her friends, who were too busy wondering when she had gone mad to beam back.

Jack Frost was the star soccer player of Burgess High. He was the ultimate jock, as far as the rumors went. Merida had heard everything about the guy. Apparently, he had it all: rich parents, popular status, good looks.

Of course, they had never talked to him in person.

"Hiccup's an…interesting name," Jack noted. He appeared to be trying to hold down a laugh. This, of course, didn't go well with Merida.

"I wouldn't make fun of his name if I had hair like you," she retorted icily. He turned towards the redhead, who was still seated on her bucket.

The other two noticed the clash immediately. Merida, who was bright and tempestuous and had cheeks stained with color, and Jack, pale and frosty-haired.

"Well, you have pretty crazy hair yourself. Don't know if you've ever heard of a thing called a _hairbrush?_"

Merida's arms folded of their own accord. Who did this guy think he was, waltzing in here and insulting them straight off the bat?

"Excuse you, Mr. Bedhead, but I don't-"

"Hey, whoa, both of you, calm down! We don't even _know _him, Merida!"

"Hic's right." Jack gave the Scot an easy smile. "Why don't we start with introductions? I'm Jack Frost. I'm seventeen years old, going into senior year-"

"And a first-class asshole. Yeah, we know."

"Merida!" Rapunzel looked mortified, and a little exasperated.

"No, no, she's fine, she's fine. But the question is, what exactly did she say?" Jack's blue eyes narrowed, still keeping their mischievous sparkle. "It's kinda hard to tell. Seems like she sprouts gibberish most of the time."

"Alright, that's it." Merida went for her bow and leveled it at him, prepared to ram him through. "So I'm Scottish. Got a problem with it, Old Man Winter?"

Jack was having a blast. Merida- was that her name?- was extremely easy to annoy, so why stop now?

"Hey, watch it. Just 'cause my hair is white doesn't mean you get to call me and old man. Although, I reserve the right to call you Carrot-top. Or Hot Tamale. Or-"

"'Ey!" And with that, Merida started chasing Jack around the cramped stables. Hiccup and Rapunzel watched them from the doorway, utterly and completely nonplussed.

"They've known each other for five minutes," Rapunzel whispered.

"Two minutes," Hiccup muttered back.

"Oh boy," they mumbled together. Senior year with Merida and Jack was sure to be a blast.

Note the sarcasm.

* * *

**A/N: I've been meaning to do a Jarida story for ages, because this pairing will be the death of me, so here we are! *doggedly ignores other unfinished stories waiting to be updated***

**Anyways, thanks for reading. This'll be a series of one-shots. I had to start with their first meeting because there's so much sass involved :) **

**Till next time!**


	2. Jack and Jocks

Five days into school and Merida was already considering trying to get herself expelled. (It hadn't worked the one time she'd tried it in fifth grade, but that didn't stop her from contemplating it.)

"Thank god it's Friday," she muttered to her friend Mavis. Rapunzel bounced along behind her, twirling her golden hair between her fingers and humming _Carry on My Wayward Son._

"Would you stop that," Merida hissed to the blonde. "You've been humming that damn song since eight in the morning."

"'s not my fault if it's catchy," Rapunzel replied and continued humming, unfazed. Hiccup waved to them, coming out from his physics class with his geeky headphones slung around his neck. Rapunzel wandered off with him, starting a conversation about quantum physics. Merida wasn't too keen on listening in, and besides, she realized that she'd forgotten her Chemistry book in her locker.

"Dammit. You go on ahead, Mavis."

Mavis waved goodbye and ran off to find her boyfriend, Johnny. Merida doubled back to her locker and grabbed the offending book.

As she walked down the now-empty hallway, she noticed the door to the English classroom open. Merida was about to reach out and close it when she heard voices coming from the darkened room.

She peered in, squinting to make out the students in the room. One of them was Flynn Rider, who'd been to Juvie once for stealing a valuable picture, and the other was Jack Frost.

Of course. Her fists clenched in an automatic movement of dislike. Trust Jack Frost and Flynn Rider to deface school property within one week of the start of school- if that was what they were doing.

She leaned further into the room, making sure to be silent. They appeared to be switching the teacher manuals for all the textbooks with student copies, and then hiding away all of the teacher's supplies that lay innocently on the desk.

She stepped away from the room and scoffed to herself. She wouldn't turn them in; she'd had her own fair share of planned and executed pranks. But those were always at the very end of the year, when everybody was expecting trouble. Now it just didn't seem fair.

And _Flynn Rider_? Why would Frost hang out with a kid who'd gotten into trouble with the law?

"Idiots," she huffed to herself and unlocked her car.

She'd known he was a good-for-nothing.

* * *

**A/N: Tsk tsk, Jack. One week in and you're already getting into trouble. **

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	3. Bullseye

**Bullseye**

* * *

"Hey- wait up, Blondie!" Jack dodged several startled students and turned the corner, trying to keep up with Rapunzel. The petite girl was surprisingly fast, although why she was hurrying, Jack had no idea.

"C'mon, go faster," Rapunzel called over her shoulder. Jack stopped to fist-bump Flynn, who glanced after him quizzically. Jack and Rapunzel certainly made an odd pair: both of them held their shoes in their hands, and Rapunzel's long blond hair streamed behind her like a banner.

They stopped to breathe in front of the gym doors, where a tall, blonde woman stood with her arms crossed. "You two here to watch the archery practice?"

Jack nodded. Rapunzel smiled charmingly. "We did show up on time, right?"

The woman sniffed. "I s'pose." She held the doors open, and then slammed them shut as soon as Rapunzel's hair had floated through.

Inside the gym were three girls and two boys, their bows in their hands, facing a single target behind a net. Rapunzel and Jack made their way to the bleachers, where they sat side-by-side pulling their shoes back on.

"Remind me why I took my shoes off again?" Jack asked.

Rapunzel rolled her eyes sportingly. "I took mine off 'cause I run faster without. You, being the copy-cat that you are, followed suit."

A harsh whistle interrupted their banter. The harsh-looking woman who'd been guarding the doors was now standing before the five archers.

"_Boys and girls," _she bellowed. _"I hope you're expecting to go home aching all over and sweating like a pig. Remember, archery is hard work! Archery is practice! Archery is NOT a sport for little girls that run home crying for their mamas! Understand?"_

"Yes, Coach Calhoun," the archers muttered in varying degrees of enthusiasm. Jack could pick out the newbies from the experienced students. Merida, for example, looked almost bored. Clearly, she'd heard Coach Calhoun's little rant many times before.

"All right. Babcock! You're up."

Norman, a short freshman with hair that stuck straight up, stepped forward with his bow and an arrow in his hand. The arrows weren't pointy and triangular at the end, like Jack had been expecting. These were practice arrows.

Norman nocked the arrow and pulled it back. The poor kid looked pretty nervous and his hands were trembling ever so slightly. He let it go and it arched up and then fell back to earth, sticking straight up a few feet before the target.

"C'mon, keep a _steady _hand," the coach bellowed. Norman scurried to the back of the line.

The next three were all differently skilled. One hit the very edge of the target, the next nearly got a bullseye, and the kid after him failed completely and nearly took the coach's head off.

After he got told off, Calhoun folded her arms and nodded to Merida. Jack, who'd been complaining to Rapunzel about archery not being a high-action sport, shut his trap and leaned forward, intrigued.

Merida nocked her arrow and pulled back, eyes narrowed, hands completely steady. Jack held his breath.

She let go and the arrow whizzed straight into the center of the target.

Rapunzel cheered, but fell silent after Calhoun gave her a look. She turned to Jack triumphantly. "Told you she was amazing!"

Jack felt Merida's eyes trained on him. He glanced at her, shrugged, and grudgingly said, "I guess she was pretty good."

Across the room, Merida grinned.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the alerts, you guys. You seriously make my day.**

**Replies to reviews:**

**Guest: Thank you, friend!**

**Guest: I couldn't resist ;)**

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**MyLoveIsToBlame: You're welcome! Lol, as for their prank, let's just say: they now hold the record for earliest detentions of the year.**


	4. Hitchups

**Hitchups**

* * *

"Fishbone! Where d'you think you're going?"

Hiccup ducked his head, his grip tightening on his binder. Time for the weekly torment session. It _was _partly his fault for staying after school to talk to his physics teacher, but that didn't mean he was ready to be slammed against a locker repeatedly and have all his notebooks ripped apart.

He rounded a corner, starting to jog. The doors were in sight-

_BAM. _Just like that, Hiccup found himself pinned by his arms to the hard metal of a school locker. His harassers this week were his cousin Scott, whom he affectionately called Snotlout, and Snotlout's buddy Ed.

"I _said, _where d'you think you're going?"

"Just outside, to get some fresh air- you should try it, it's really relaxing. You look like you could use a little _unwinding_," Hiccup quipped back dryly.

Snotlout slammed him into the metal surface again, hard. Hiccup blinked back stars. "Hey, Ed, d'you think the little fishy is gonna be okay? Maybe we should throw him back into the water just to make sure!"

Ed laughed stupidly. Hiccup's eyes darted to the door down the hallway. Imprinted on the wood was the word _pool._

"Aw, crap."

* * *

"You ready, Ed?"

Ed nodded, a large, idiotic smile plastered on his face. Hiccup squirmed in their grips, even though he knew it was pointless.

"One- two- three-"

"HEY!"

The pool doors slammed open, but alas, it was a little too late. Hiccup was thrown into the water, along with his bag (and all the books and notebooks inside of it.) Thank goodness Stoick, his father, whom Hiccup liked to call Stoick the Vast, had made him take swimming lessons when he was five.

Hiccup kicked up and burst to the surface, spluttering. His bangs flopped over his eyes limply and he flicked them away to see who exactly showed up and tried to save him and his books.

In fact, it wasn't just one person, or a teacher, as he'd hoped. It was Merida, who, judging by the state of her hair had just come from archery practice, Rapunzel, whose hands covered her mouth, shocked that Snotlout and Ed would actually go through with it, and Jack Frost. _Jack Frost_. Hiccup was still finding it hard to believe that the most popular kid in Burgess High had even _talked _to him, much less showed up and tried to help.

"What the _hell?" _Merida stomped over to the two bullies, who both looked properly scared of her. "You two idiots could've _killed _him if he didn't know how to swim! This is goddamn high school! Jerk-offs like you just don't go around shoving people into pools in high school, okay? Maybe that little fact is too complicated to shove into your thick little brains, but the rest of us aren't as _f-"_

Jack cleared his throat. Merida broke off, spinning on him like an angry hornet. "_What?"_

The white-haired boy stepped in front of her and faced the two, who were fairly shaking in their shoes. "Hey. Scott, is it? And Ed?"

Snotlout nodded, his sneer reforming on his face. "If you think we're gonna apologize to Fishbone over there just cuz Mister Popular shows up with his archer girlfriend, then you got another thought coming."

"_I'm not his girlfriend!" _Merida screeched. She looked absolutely murderous.

"Look, Scott, that's not what I meant." Hiccup, who'd pulled himself out of the pool, saw a distinctly impish look form on Jack's face as he spoke. The senior leaned forward and whispered something in Snotlout's ear. Whatever it was, it must've been absolutely terrifying because Snotlout's face drained of all color and he backed away.

"That- that won't be necessary," he squeaked, and took off past the three, Ed right behind him.

"What did you say?" Rapunzel large eyes widened even more.

Jack winked. "Let's just say it had to do with prom and a _special _drinking game."

It was then that they noticed Hiccup, who was standing awkwardly in a corner sopping wet and looking thoroughly miserable. Rapunzel made a small noise at the back of her throat and rushed off to get some towels for him. She came back a few seconds later holding about fifteen in her arms, which she then promptly draped around the poor guy. By the end of it he looked like a mummy.

Jack chuckled at the sight. He was about to leave the pool when a very angry redhead shoved herself in front of him.

"I have a bone to pick with you," she growled.

"Go ahead." He shrugged. She was very easy to annoy, so this would be rather entertaining.

"What the hell d'you think you're doing?" Merida demanded. "Hiccup is _my _friend, not yours!"

_Really? _Jack refrained from saying it out loud- it would probably make her explode. "He seems to be a really _good_ friend of yours. Not many people are that protective of their classmates."

Merida's icy blue eyes narrowed. "What're you implying? He's just a childhood friend, I've known him for- hey! Stop try'na change the subject!"

"He's a cool guy, 'kay? Just because you _think _I'm an asshole doesn't really mean I am one."

"I never said that!"

"You're suggesting it."

"And from when have _you _been able to read people?"

"It's a skill I pride myself in," Jack retorted.

"I would if I were you, you certainly don't seem to have many skills."

"_Au contraire. _I think I have many skills, you've just got too many red tangles covering your brain to notice."

"Well-"

"_Ahem." _

They both snapped up, barely noticing that their noses were an inch from each other. "_What_?"

Rapunzel's hands were on her hips, eyebrows raised. "Are we gonna get Hiccup home before he gets hypothermia or are we gonna watch you two have a game of verbal tennis?"

"Sorry," they both muttered at the same time, then went over to help Hiccup- but not before sending one last glare at each other.

* * *

Later, when Merida had dropped Hiccup off at his house and Rapunzel at hers, she found herself unwillingly alone with Jack, who'd insisted on tagging along, much to the redhead's aggravation.

They watched Rapunzel wave and slam the door shut, and there was a brief silence before Jack broke it.

"Y'know, I kinda _was _implying something back there. With Hiccup and whole really _good _friend thing."

Merida spluttered. Jack winked at her and smoothly exited the car. She watched him, making barely coherent sounds of rage.

Jack shook his head. "Oh, don't worry yourself, Dollface. I'll walk."

He was long gone before the time Merida thought of a retort, and not a very eloquent one at that.

"_Dammit, Frost!"_

* * *

**A/N: I really am sorry for the long wait :1 I rewatched Sherlock and started (and finished) Teen Wolf, so I have a pretty good excuse lol ;3 but I'd just like to thank you for all the support and alerts! They truly do make my day. **

**Btw, I know there's a very popular HTTYD fic named Hitchups. I've read it myself, it's excellent! Just thought I'd let you all know :)**

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**talking-hat: uwu thanks and yeah, some of these are sort of like vignettes? So a little shorthish in length. Hopefully this one is better :3**

**annafrost: Thank you so much, m'dear!**


	5. Black and White

**Black and White**

* * *

"Do I _have _to go?"

"That's what Jack said when I asked him to come to your archery practice. And he did come, didn't he?"

Merida rolled her eyes. "That doesn't exactly convince me, though," she pointed out. Rapunzel sighed.

"Can't you just let go of this stupid rivalry thing you have with him for one night? I mean, it's a soccer game. Think of it as…defending the school's spirit!"

Merida groaned, but eventually caved in, much to the blonde's enthusiasm, and climbed out of the car. "Fine," she growled, tying up her stubborn curls, which barely managed to stay contained in the hair tie. The September wind wasn't as cold as they knew it would become later in October, but it still was slightly chilly, and Rapunzel shivered in her tank.

They found places in the bleachers next to Flynn Rider, who eyed both of them appreciatively. Merida huffed slightly at him and turned around to watch the game. She didn't know much about soccer; back in Scotland it was called football, and not many of the people she knew played it.

On the field, their teams milled about waiting for the game to begin. Jack, with his silver hair, was the most conspicuous. She could also make out Hiccup, who was standing awkwardly to the side, short and skinny.

"How'd Haddock even get in?" she chuckled. Hiccup, as if he had heard her, turned around and scrunched his nose at her. Merida gave him a double-thumbs up.

The ref blew his whistle, and the game began.

* * *

Somehow, with ten seconds on the clock and counting down, Merida found herself on her feet along with the crowd, screaming. Jack, who'd scored the majority of the five goals, was thundering down the field with the ball in front of him. The score was tied, the clock was ticking, and Merida was yelling out the last thing she'd ever expected to yell out: "_GO, JACK, GO!"_

The opposing team's defense cut in from the left- Jack skirted around him- he dodged another player- Merida heard the _thunk _ of his foot hitting the ball squarely-

"GOAL!"

She let out a yelp of delight, truly in the game. Rapunzel watched her, also standing, a little smile slipping onto her face. She wasn't the type to say it, so she thought it instead: _told you so._

A sudden cry of dismay from the onlookers closest to the field attracted their attention. Rapunzel and Merida both tried to see, but there were two burly boys standing in front of them blocking their view. "What- what happened? What's wrong?" Merida called over the noise. One of the guys in front of them turned around. It was Thor, Rapunzel's (surprisingly) good friend.

"It appears that one of the players has been injured, Rapunzel," the blond boy bellowed, his naturally loud voice making its way to their ears.

Merida tried getting to the front of the crowd and managed, due to the advantage of having sharp elbows. "'ey, what's all this commotion about- oh."

It was Jack. He was lying on a stretcher.

* * *

"Ye're sayin' tha' the other team's bloody _cap'n _kicked 'im in the 'ead as he was leavin'? Whit sort o' a damn bloody wanker does tha'?! Sportsman, mah bloody second cousin's arse."

Merida was furious, and when she was truly angry, her accent thickened until Rapunzel could barely understand her. Nevertheless, as Merida's rant trailed off, she muttered some certain colorful words under her breath. Rapunzel could make out some words that were certainly the same in Scottish slang _and _English, and her cheeks reddened as she processed them.

"Merida," she ventured timidly, not wanting to set her off again, "do you think we could go in and see him?"

It appeared that Merida wasn't all that concerned about Jack; apparently it was just the _bad spirit _that angered her. She was pure like that, Rapunzel speculated. She liked sticking to basic morals. Rapunzel appreciated that about Merida; sure, her friend would cuss and shag boys and smoke ("It was an experiment!") but her basic character was pretty decent.

It was because of this moral that she reluctantly agreed to see him. "Don't ye dare tell 'im ah actually care, ye hear? If 'e asks, it's just 'cause ye forced me ter."

"Even though I didn't," Rapunzel murmured half to herself. She followed Merida into the hospital room.

Jack was awake, if a bit loopy from the soccer ball to his head. Fortunately it hadn't been too bad, as the doctor had informed them; just a minor concussion.

And as she closed the door behind her friend, Rapunzel couldn't help but notice two things. The first was that Merida looked a great deal less worked up, even slightly relieved. And the second was that as the redhead turned to wave at Jack one last time, she had the slightest smile on her face.

Not that she'd ever admit it.

* * *

**A/N: Awww. This chapter was a fun one to write. But then again, all of them are :)**


	6. The Snuggly Duckling

**The Snuggly Duckling**

* * *

"The Snuggly Duckling, huh? Sounds like a place you'd like," Jack laughed. Rapunzel shrugged shyly.

"I love this place, always hang out here when Mother's not around," she admitted, and bounced ahead to the doors. "Well? Keep up!"

Merida and Hiccup, who'd been debating the pros and cons of living in the Highlands and living in the Lowlands, reached the pub last. Rapunzel pulled the doors open eagerly, and the other three came to an abrupt stop. They'd expected some cozy, frilly place, most likely decorated in pinks and purples. Instead, what they got was a scantly lighted, seedy-looking place full of what looked like thugs and gangsters.

"…Rapunzel," Jack ventured, "are you sure we've come to the right place?"

Rapunzel, however, seemed completely at home. "Hey, Vlad!" she chirped, walking among the thugs and smiling at a particularly large one. To her friends' surprise, most of the tough-looking ruffians grinned and waved right back.

"Hey, Blondie! The usual?" The bartender's hook glinted as he waved it at a small table near the fireplace.

"Hello, Hookhand! Actually, I brought my friends along today! This is Jack- _this _is Hiccup, the one I've told you about, remember?- and this is Merida!"

"Welcome to the Snuggly Ducklin'." Hookhand's grin, which was missing quite a few teeth, seemed somewhat malicious to the other three. He gestured to the table and winked at Rapunzel.

"Once yer friends've decided on drinks, come up right here, Blondie!" Hookhand pointed to the bar and bustled away.

"He seems…interesting," Merida offered. Rapunzel nodded.

"Once you get past the hook, he's a sweetheart. He wants to be a concert pianist, actually," she giggled. "Jack, Merida, Hiccup- anything to drink? Or eat," she added, eyeing the gnarly-looking sandwich that her big friend Vlad was silently regarding.

"They got vodka?" Jack asked absentmindedly, staring openly at one guy who was sharpening his knife on his plate.

"_Jack," _Rapunzel admonished, but eventually nodded. "_Yes, _they've got vodka. Not that Hiccup'll be having any, right, Hiccup?"

Hiccup jumped slightly. "Oh! Um." He glanced around guiltily and hesitantly shook his head. "Nope. No vodka for me."

"Good. We'll get hot chocolates then, yeah? And Merida, what d'you want?"

"I'll have some o' what Winter Prince over here is havin'," she grinned. Rapunzel sighed.

"Hopeless, the two of you. Hiccup, let's go."

Hiccup scampered off behind Rapunzel, leaving Jack and Merida alone at their table.

After a few seconds, Jack couldn't bear the silence. "Dollface," he started off, glancing down at his hands, "I gotta question for you."

"_Don't _call me that, _Winter Prince_. And it better be quick," she warned.

"Why do you hate me?" And perhaps it was Merida's imagination, but she heard the slightest waver in his voice.

For a long while, the only sounds between them were the clangs and low murmurs of the other patrons at the bar. Merida looked up. His eyes were blue, bright blue, even more intense than her own.

"Why do you have to annoy me? It's not just like I did something to you, because I didn't- but if I did, well, I wouldn't blame myself, because you're just _so infuriating, _and God, I just can't stand it sometimes- and I know I'm easily set off but _why _do you like making me explode? I mean, you're not like anyone else I know, they wouldn't dare to, and you're so weird, you're the weirdest person I've ever known, and that's not a compliment-"

"We're back!" Rapunzel and Hiccup set the mugs down with a _thud _and slid into their respective seats.

It appeared to them that Jack and Merida had some kind of row, because for the first time ever Jack's normally pale cheeks were stained with red as he stared at the Scottish girl. There was always some sort of tension around them, but today it seemed sharper, almost tangible.

Jack broke his gaze first. Hiccup thought there was something a little hurt in his gaze. He took a sip of the drink Rapunzel had brought him, and soon Merida did the same.

"It's not all bad," he said softly, "huh, Dollface?"

Merida glanced back up at him. Her eyes flashed with dislike. "Not bad at all, Winter Prince," she bit back. "Not bad at all."

* * *

**A/N: Oh, Merida. Temper, temper.**


	7. The Toymaker's Apprentice

**The Toymaker's Apprentice**

* * *

_154 Santoff Claussen Avenue. Be there at nine on Saturday._

The invitation, received on Thursday, was written in messy, small script on a scrap of paper and had few words, but they had very different meanings for each of the three.

Hiccup nodded to himself. He would show up, he was sure of it- even if it _was _Jack Frost's house.

Rapunzel smiled widely. She was finally getting Jack to open up!

As for Merida, well, one can guess what Merida did. It involved a shredder and a bonfire.

After extensive persuasion from both Hiccup _and _Rapunzel, Merida finally relented. The force of Rapunzel's huge, green eyes combined with Hiccup's dorky little smile proved to be too much and the redhead found herself pulling up outside of Jack's house.

Jack's house, which appeared to be a _big frickin' mansion _about twice the size of Merida's own manor. And Merida's dad was the governor of Burgess.

"Holy _shit."_

"Merida!" Rapunzel, who'd climbed out of the passenger seat, crossed her arms, her blonde ponytail bobbing disapprovingly.

"What the hell does his dad do?"

"Hey guys!" Hiccup clambered out of his Mazda and waved to his friends.

"Hiccup! You made it!"

"For someone who's supposed to be grounded for life, you sure do get out a lot," Hiccup noted drily.

"Mother's away on a trip! She has an art gallery she's exhibiting and she won't be back until Tuesday."

"Lucky break, Punz," Hiccup grinned. "And what exactly does his dad even _do? _Look at that place."

It was about five stories, from what they could tell, complete with turrets and rounded windows and painted a reddish brown color. An ivy-covered wall half-obscured their view, and there was a garden that extended out from the wall and ended at a white fence that surrounded the house.

"You know, _holy shit _doesn't quite cover it," Hiccup mumbled as they swung the gate open. Rapunzel cooed at the lovely garden and the little fountain at the center of it. They found a gate against the big wall and ducked underneath the ivy. At long last, they found the door, which was at least seven feet tall and plated with bronze.

"Jeez," Hiccup muttered and pressed the ivory doorbell.

They waited a few seconds, and, soon enough, there was Jack, his hair tousled, wearing a grey Henley and a pair of shorts.

"You made it," he grinned, swinging the door open wide. Their mouths fell open at the entrance room.

"Wow," Hiccup managed, stepping in. His eyes roved all around the room. A crystal chandelier hung from the paneled ceiling and dozens of beautiful red tapestries hung from the stone walls.

"This place is like a fairytale castle," Merida murmured, and then felt her face heat up. "I mean-"

"Yeah, it kinda is." Jack, much to her surprise, nodded.

He was barefoot, which Merida found unimaginable, as the tiles on the floor looked pretty cold. Rapunzel kicked her shoes off, all too glad to find an excuse to go barefoot, and followed Jack into the house.

* * *

"So are your parents out working, or…?"

"Yeah. My dad's a toymaker, he owns a big-ass toy company. He's out on a trip to Russia."

"A toy factory," Hiccup mused. He settled back against Rapunzel's shoulder, shifting around comfortably on the down sofa. "Huh."

"Is he around much?" Rapunzel asked.

Jack shrugged. "He's busy, I don't blame him. 'Sides, we have a pretty good relationship, considering-" he trailed off and clamped his mouth shut.

"Considering what?" Merida was terrible at being sensitive.

"I'm adopted," Jack muttered, glancing away at a wall. Clearly it was a slightly touchy subject. Hiccup cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"Ah, d'you have anything to drink?" Hiccup blurted out. At Merida's raised eyebrow he hastily backtracked. "I mean, whew, I'm sorta thirsty! Is anyone else thirsty?"

Jack chuckled, clearly relieved at the change of subject, and leapt off the sofa. Hiccup got up from his warm position leaning on Rapunzel a little hesitantly and followed the white-haired boy. Jack lead him to a small cabinet in his father's office and procured a key from inside a potted plant (_Cliché, _Hiccup thought) and unlocked it with ease.

"_Voilà." _

Hiccup whistled. The cabinet was full to the brim with dozens of bottles full of drinks that he had no experience with. "Which one would you drink?" Hiccup asked a little hesitantly. If he was going to get drunk, he wouldn't do it halfway.

"I'd mix that moonshine with cherry juice, if Jack has any. Two shots and _boom!"_

Hiccup glanced at Merida, who'd appeared in the doorway to offer him dubious advice, and shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

* * *

"What did it taste like?"

Rapunzel stared at Hiccup like he was some intriguing, grotesque artifact. Hiccup, who was draped across the couch, felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and it seemed that he had limited control over his motor functions.

"Like- like rubb'n alc'hol," he slurred, and tried giggling.

"I don't think this was a good idea," Rapunzel muttered. She glanced at Jack, who was gripping a bottle of god-knows-what and smiling at Hiccup evilly. "You know that we're way underage, right?"

Merida shrugged. "C'mon, Blondie, live a little!"

And that was how all four of them ended up completely wasted on a Saturday night at twelve in the morning in Jack Frost's house.

"You're still terr'ble," Merida muttered, leaning on Jack's arm. "Ev'n though y'r dad has some _amazing _liquor."

Jack chuckled. "Whatever you say, Dollface. Whatever you say."

* * *

**Whooo! Guess who decided to update?**

**This chapter is so adorable. Personal opinion, but- hope you you agree :3**

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**slaveoftheship: Apologies of the characterization issues and OOCness. I wish I could be the script writers of the films combined into one superbeing, or at least be as insightful as you, but unfortunately for my readers I'm not. But anyways, thanks for the compliments, as well as the constructive criticism! Appreciate it.**

**oh and wanker's a term of the UK, so it's very much Scottish, don't worry. ;)**

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	8. Bazinga!

**Bazinga!**

* * *

Worms. In her bed.

_Worms in her bed._

Merida was pretty sure that her scream could be heard throughout Burgess. At first it was shock, because the worms were wet and dirty and she'd nearly _lain _on top of them, but then it was a primal yell of rage.

"Oh, you guys, it is so _on!"_

The thing was, Merida was pretty good at pranks but she couldn't hold a candle up to Hamish, Hubert, and Harris. As the pranks grew larger in scale, (replacing her toothpaste with shaving cream, exchanging her shampoo for Nair, which she actually nearly used, and replacing her bow and arrows with a rubber set- where the hell had they got that anyways?) Merida decided to resort to desperate measures.

Who was the greatest prankster that she knew?

"Jack." Merida grit her teeth. "I, uh-I need your help."

Jack laughed, because there was no way she was actually asking him for help. Merida glared at him and he saw that she was actually serious.

"Well," he started hesitantly, leaning against his locker, "that depends on what it's for."

"Take out all the dirty thoughts that are coursing through your brain," Merida ordered. "It's for a prank. A prank war, in fact."

Jack accepted with a slowly growing smile.

* * *

"Wait for it," he muttered. She actually grinned back at him. They crouched against her bed, barely able to see the doorway. Jack was fairly sure that the triplets were about to come bouncing in to set up their newest trick, and they were ready.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the triplets that came through.

Merida covered her mouth, eyes wide. The trap went off, the bucket tipped, and there stood Merida's mother, eyes squeezed shut, completely bemused and covered in blue paint.

"MERIDA!"

They leapt out the open window as fast as they possibly could and ran all the way to the stables. Merida collapsed against Angus's wall and convulsed with laughter.

"You're not- mad? I mean, you will get in trouble, I'm guessing-"

"Are you joking?" Merida choked out, actually laughing. "That was awesome!"

Her laugh was nice. It was the first time she had ever laughed in front of him, and he'd been expecting some sort of barking laughter with a few snorts thrown in. But instead it sounded kind of like a bell, chiming and breathy and actually a little gentle.

"Thanks, Jack," she muttered, her eyes darting to his face and her lips twitching up.

Jack shrugged. "My pleasure. No, seriously. Seeing your mother covered in blue paint was entirely my pleasure."

Merida burst into laughter again, and this time Jack joined in.

* * *

**A/N: Prank wars are gold. And so is Big Bang Theory.**

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	9. Staffs and Stories

**Staffs and Stories**

* * *

Things had blown up in a big way.

There was the art gallery, where Rapunzel and her mother had gone to exhibit the art that was masquerading as Mrs. Gothel's own work, but of course it was actually Rapunzel's. Rapunzel was used to her mother taking credit for her art and she no longer minded it.

It was on the last day of the exhibition that a wealthy couple came to visit, because they had always admired "Mrs. Gothel's work."

They had seen Rapunzel.

And the woman had screamed.

She'd uncovered her wallet with shaking hands, and Rapunzel couldn't help but notice that her eyes were as big and green as Rapunzel's. Gothel had freaked, tried pulling Rapunzel away, calling the couple crazy children stealers and threatening to call the police, but before she'd managed to reach her phone the woman had held the wallet out to Rapunzel.

In it was a picture of a little girl. Rapunzel's eyes widened as she took it in: the same eyes as her, the same hair, the same face-

Rapunzel whirled on Gothel. She'd known something had been wrong inherently for the past sixteen years, and all of her fears had suddenly been realized.

What followed was one of the worst days of Rapunzel's whole life. And, in a way, one of the best.

* * *

Her best friend hadn't been to school for a whole week and Merida was starting to get worried.

The petite blonde didn't have a phone, so Merida had tried calling up to her window, which was on the fifth story of the Gothels' tall, steeple-like house. The window was empty, like the gap she felt growing inside of her.

Without her best friend, she grew snappish and acerbic, lashing out at people for the smallest things and keeping her temper cooped up, because there was no one to listen.

She sighed as she walked out of Burgess High, her curls falling over her face in a very un-Merida-like way. Rapunzel was her rock. Without her she was folding in on herself, her brave façade crumbling. Merida sighed and climbed into her car, leaning forward and letting her forehead hit the wheel with a gentle _thunk. _

Her phone buzzed. Her hand leapt out on instinct and she pressed her cheek to the cold leather of the steering wheel to glance sideways at the iPhone. A mysterious number had texted her: _Hey, I've missed you! How's it going?_

Merida's blue eyes narrowed and she lifted her head off the steering wheel. _Who is this? And if it's Shade, then piss off, _she typed was the dealer who'd given her a week's supply of weed a year ago. Merida had tried it once and had been tempted, _too _tempted to buy a whole lot more from him. But she'd destroyed the stash before she'd gotten the chance, and she was glad for it.

There was a brief pause. Merida let her phone drop into the passenger seat and started the car with a sigh. She was about to back out when it buzzed again.

_No, silly. This is Rapunzel. Who's Shade?_

Merida's eyes widened and she scooped the phone up with both hands and called the weird number.

"Punz! Where the bloody hell've you been? And you got a _phone? _What's with that? And besides-"

"Merida!" Rapunzel let out a little giggled. "Slow down!" And suddenly Merida found herself laughing with her.

"No, but seriously," Merida choked out a little breathlessly a few seconds later. "Where have you been?"

"Well. It's a long story."

* * *

"Bloody hell."

Merida was fairly shaking with anger by the time Rapunzel was done sharing. She had invited her three best friends to Mr. and Mrs. Corona's house, just for some backstory-sharing time, and, of course, s'mores. They had been horrified to see that Rapunzel's lovely, long blonde hair had been chopped short and dyed a brown color. She looked a little drained, but her cheeks were flooded with color, as always, and she looked undeniably excited.

There was also the matter of her new house. It was almost as big as Jack's; Mr. Corona was a wealthy, well-known foreign diplomat and they could afford many luxuries.

"So she stole you from them when you were born? _What? Why?"_

"Calm down," Rapunzel sighed, placating.

"Seriously, no, how about no," Hiccup muttered, still looking a bit disbelieving. "How-"

"Are you alright, Punz? Because, honestly, Gothel may have been a real _bitch _but all that matters is if you're okay or not." Jack was looking uncharacteristically emotional, alternately clenching his teeth and casting worried glances Rapunzel's way.

Rapunzel shook her head and smiled softly. Despite the change of her appearance, they could see their Rapunzel shining through brightly. "I'm fine, guys, honestly. But we should stop worrying about me and, instead, talk about each other! C'mon, it's backstory time!"

There was a comfortable, warm silence between the four friends. Hiccup stuck a marshmallow out on his kebab stick (they couldn't find good wooden skewers) and rotated it slowly, sticking his tongue out. "I'll go first," he decided.

They settled back, each munching on S'mores, and listened to everything that everyone had to say. There was alternate laughing and gasping in the right places, and a few groans at bad punch lines. Eventually they got into a game that Merida thought of, which consisted of asking any person the first question that popped into their mind. Jack, who had the stick he sometimes carried around lying beside him, immediately got asked what it was.

"I dunno," he mused, glancing at it. "I call it my staff. It was in the box they gave me when I, y'know, moved into the orphanage." Merida snickered about his staff, but Jack rolled his eyes and she repressed her dirty thoughts.

Hiccup was asked if he'd ever had any experiences of the sexual kind. He had immediately ducked his head and asked for a pass.

He'd retaliated by asking Merida how many guys she'd banged over the years. Merida truthfully answered that she couldn't possibly count the numbers, which was followed by loud guffaws from Jack and Hiccup, and a nervous giggle from a furiously blushing Rapunzel.

They must've each gone through about twenty marshmallows, but none of them noticed, too enamored with the simple joy of warmth, comfort, and friendship.

By the time it was midnight and Jack was sharing one of his exceptionally bad jokes and they were laughing despite of it, Merida was feeling extraordinarily lighthearted.

She smiled as Rapunzel snuggled closer to her and Hiccup playfully poked Jack with a skewer, as retaliation for his terrible taste in humor.

"You guys are awesome," she said softly. The words rang true, even to herself. Jack caught her eye and smiled, a real smile, not one of his lopsided smirks but a wide, sincere smile that flashed his white teeth and gave his eyes a sparkle.

Merida smiled back, because she'd just called Jack her friend.

* * *

**A/N: This was a terribly fluffy chapter. *gets diabetes from the sweetness***

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	10. Choked

"_Again?!"_

"Mum, look, I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again-"

"That," Elinor cut in, looking positively violent, "is _precisely _what you said last week. And the week before. And, might I add, the week _before." _

Merida sighed and dropped her head into her hands. "I'm sorry, Mum, it's just _school _and _homework _and the job and everything…"

"Merida." Elinor's pursed lips grew even tighter. "In the car. _Now." _

"Oh, Mum-"

_"I said NOW!"_

Merida sighed and stood from the bench by the lake where she'd decided to skip school. She picked up her bow, which she'd brought with her because just feeling it helped her relax, and followed her mother to the car. It was a pretty quiet place, but what Elinor didn't know was that the neighborhood gang members, who were all quite friendly with Merida, often perambulated through and offered the Scot a cig, or, in some rare cases, a beer. Merida could imagine the way her mother's head would probably explode into fireworks if she found out.

Her mother kept her silence in the car. Merida clenched her teeth. She wasn't allowed to go out on the weekends, except to play with the boys, and she wasn't allowed to go out on the weekdays- she was way too busy with all of her schoolwork and the job at the archery store she'd recently picked up.

They pulled up in the driveway and exited. Her mother gestured to her to come to the family room, which she did. They sat on sofas across from each other, keeping the silence for a good minute. Her mother drew a deep breath and Merida prepared herself for the lecture to come.

"Merida." She often compared her mother's voice to glass. It was a clear sort of voice that could cut through all other noises with ease. And when it produced an angry tone it sounded a little jagged at the edges.

"Look, I honestly don't understand why you feel the need to- _act _like some sort of a rebel. You know we don't-"

"I don't act like a rebel," Merida interrupted quickly, frowning. "I just don't want to feel this- this _choked _all the time!"

"As I was saying," Elinor continued frigidly, "I don't believe that your father and I pressure you too much on your studies. We simply want you to go to a good school and become a good- a _better _person than both Fergus and I. All we want is for you to succeed and be happy! And to do that, you need to be _disciplined, _you need to be-"

"Responsible, polite, and a _lady, _yes, I know," Merida cut in. "But why can't you just for _one second _listen to me? Just listen to what I have to say! You won't have to do anything, just for once listen to me. I deserve an opinion, _Mother."_

"Yes, _daughter." _Neither Elinor nor Merida noticed that the volumes of their voices had steadily increased. "And at the moment, I am sure that you quite frankly are not capable of producing a sensible opinion!"

"Well, you know what? You can just-" Merida, who was seeing red, flipped her mother off.

Elinor blanched, then gasped.

"_Child-"_

"I'm not a _child!" _Merida shrieked. "I'm not! And you, Mum, you can't treat me like a child anymore! I can make my own decisions, okay?!"

"Merida Ilisa DunBroch, in my eyes you are still a child! A child who, without her parents, wouldn't be able to stay organized, would probably fail school, would definitely go absolutely nowhere in life by keeping up the solitary skill of _goddamned archery-"_

_ "SHUT UP ABOUT MY ARCHERY!"_

_ "No! _You are going to tame yourself and learn to be a woman, like me, my mother, and her mother and everyone before her! And you are going to give up archery!"

"I will never give up archery! And I am never going to be like you. _I'd rather die than be like you!"_

Elinor DunBroch went silent.

In her furor, Merida had let go of her bow, which she'd been clutching in a white-knuckled grip. It was a stunning thing, hand-carved from yew by Fergus, and it was a present to her for her tenth birthday, when she'd been far too small to use it. Now, seven years later, it was still in good condition.

Elinor swooped it up and tossed into the roaring fireplace without so much as a second glance.

The world came to a halt. Merida watched one of the few things that made her truly happy char and burn away in puffs of smoke.

Her hands, which had unconsciously clapped themselves over her mouth as she shrieked, fell away. She stared at her mother, shocked, and did the only thing she could do.

She ran.

* * *

"Hey, hey, it's okay, it's gonna be okay."

They were at Rapunzel's house- she'd called Hiccup and Jack in the moment Merida had shown up in tears, disheveled and miserable.

"I just wish I didn't have a mum," she whispered.

"You don't mean that," Jack said quietly.

"What would you know about mums and dads? You don't have parents!"

As soon as the words came out, Merida's eyes widened. She covered her mouth and stared at Jack, waiting for a reaction. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry," she managed in a muffled tone.

"It's fine." She could tell it wasn't, though. His eyes held a sort of icy anger that wasn't there before.

"Only, the next time you think you'd be better off without parents, think of how it might feel. How lonely everything is. And just know that it really, truly sucks." Jack stood, turned away, and headed for the door.

Merida nodded and called after him quietly. "I know. I'm sorry."

Before he left, Jack turned back briefly. "Apology accepted, Dollface. And, for the record, I think you're pretty damn lucky. You have parents, and money, and opportunities- not to mention, a pretty smashing array of friends, eh?"

Merida chuckled, the tension evaporating away. "Don't flatter yourself, Winter Prince," she muttered as the door clicked shut.

"_I head that!"_

* * *

**A/N: So this was a bit more of a serious, temper-inflicted chapter- oh, and is it bad that I've begun to think of the fanfic as a sort of TV show, with seven episodes in each season? Yeah. It is pretty bad.**

**But anyways, Supernatural airs on the eighth and I am screaming because my body is ready and is not ready at the same timmmme**

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	11. Relationship Advice

Hiccup bit his lip. "Uh, her name's Astrid, Astrid Hofferson." Jack whistled.

"Goin' after the feisty ones, huh, Hic? That's my man!"

"Heh." Hiccup chuckled a little nervously and peered at Jack. "You know, now that I think of it I'm not sure that I should trust you to-"

"Nonsense!" Jack grinned widely and held out his hands. "This, Hiccup, is the best kind of matchmaker you will ever find at a lowly high school such as Burgess High!"

Hiccup still looked suspicious.

* * *

**One day later.**

"So, Astrid, there's this guy I know and I think you two would-"

"No."

* * *

**Two days later.**

"Y'know that guy I half-told you about? He's the nicest guy I know, great at practically everything and-"

"I don't think so."

* * *

**One week later.**

"-no, seriously, Astrid, you two would be absolutely perfect together and-"

"Jack, you've been bugging me about this for the past week. Even after I punched you."

"…uh, yeah?"

"And you do realize that you're going from slightly desperate to pathetically groveling?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

Astrid sighed. "If I go on one date with him, will you shut up?"

"Yes, ma'am, absolutely."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

It was accurate to say that Hiccup was absolutely petrified. Admittedly, he hadn't thought that Jack's little "matchmaking" ploy would actually work, and now he found himself totally unprepared.

He'd told his dad, who'd immediately bellowed a hearty congratulations for finally making an effort to be a real man and offered up his Ferrari to take out. Hiccup accepted gratefully.

Now, as the car purred to a stop outside of Astrid's house, he clutched the wheel in a white-knuckled grip and steeled his nerves.

"Okay, Haddock. C'mon, you can do this. This should be easy! She's just a girl, sure, a scary, pretty, totally-out-of-your-league girl, but she's _just _a girl. You've done particle physics before, for god's sake! This is gonna be totally easy."

His little pep talk came to a stop as the door of the house swung open. Astrid stepped out, wearing a casual blue top and a short black skirt. Her eyebrows raised at the sight of the Ferrari and she slipped into the passenger's seat.

Hiccup had opted to go for nonchalant and unaffected, so, as per the more experienced Jack's advice, he was wearing an untucked black button-up and skinny jeans. And, of course, he'd slipped on the aviator shades that Jack had lent him. They were a bit too big, but he thought they made him look casual and cool. Like Jack.

He realized abruptly that he'd forgotten to mention to the older boy that this would be his first date. _Ever._

"Hey, Astrid," he drawled, and then winced. He was pretty sure his cool approach hadn't exactly worked that time- his voice didn't do low drawls very well.

Astrid gazed around the cream interior of the car and then came to look at Hiccup. "Nice car."

"Thanks. So, uh, where'd you like to go? I mean, I don't really have a preference- er, I don't really care, so…?"

She grinned a bit at his fumbling approach and shrugged her beautiful shoulders as he started the car. "We could go for a movie."

Hiccup had predicted that she'd say that, and he was prepared this time. "I'm pretty sure we've got two choices. City of Bones and Iron Man 3 are playing. Or, y'know, we could go see The Fifth Estate, if you're into biographical movies about Australian whistleblowers who try and leak secret government information."

Astrid laughed. Actually laughed. Hiccup's eyes widened in disbelief, and relief, and he was glad for the cover of the sunglasses. "Nah, I'm good. Let's go see Iron Man 3, I've been wanting to ever since it came out."

They slipped into a conversation about the Avengers, then started animatedly discussing the relationship between Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. _This is easy, _Hiccup thought. And he was actually enjoying himself.

* * *

"So." Jack wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "How'd it go?"

"Jack, there's a reason that I'm hiding in your house at eleven at night."

"That bad, huh?"

Hiccup groaned. "It started out okay. I mean, it started out great, actually! But then we drove to the movies, and the movies were closed for some reason, so then we tried to get reservations at this restaurant she likes, but they were full, so then we tried going to this restaurant I like, but there was a really long line so we ended up getting McDonald's and then my car got a flat and then I found out that she hates cats, and that was after I told her about Toothless, and then everything sorta…"

"Yeah. Enough said." Jack spared a pitying look at Hiccup, who'd talked faster and faster during his monologue and sunk lower and lower into his seat.

* * *

"Stop laughing," Hiccup muttered, his ears bright red. Merida couldn't.

She doubled over, gasping for breath. "So- Hiccup- what- was- the lesson learned?"

Hiccup shrugged dubiously. "Double check the movie times?"

"Nope." She straightened, grinning broadly, and shot Jack a mischievous look. "Never trust Jack with good personality matchmaking."

"How about never trust Jack period?" Hiccup muttered.

"Hey! I heard that!"

Merida gave Jack a wink.

"Pretty accurate statement, Haddock. Now let's go get you drunk, as consolation of breaking up with your girlfriend of approximately two hours."

"But hey, at least she _was_ your girlfriend for a short while," Rapunzel offered. Hiccup nodded, a little comforted. Then Jack sniggered.

"Oh, shuddup."

* * *

**A/N: Poor Hiccup. But good movie choice. ****Don't get me wrong, I love City of Bones, and I'd love Benedict with an Australian accent but I far prefer his Sherlock look to Julian Malfoy :)**

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**JuliaE.k5: Shanks, friend. Yes, chapter 9 holds a special place in my heart.**


	12. Albinism and Hair Dye

His hair was always tousled, like he'd forgotten to brush it when he'd woken up. And, of course, besides that, it was silver-white.

"Penny for your thoughts," Jack hummed. "Thinking about me, were you? I'm touched, Dollface."

Merida rolled her eyes. "Ah, shuddup."

They sat in a brief, slightly awkward silence again. Around them, the sounds of the pizza place buzzed constantly. Hiccup and Rapunzel were both at Orange Leaf, but Jack and Merida had opted to have something solid for lunch rather than frozen yogurt (however tasty it may be).

"Actually, yeah, I sorta was thinking about you," Merida muttered, then added hastily at Jack's expression, "not like that, Winter Prince, you idiot! I was just wondering about…your hair."

Jack's salt-and-pepper eyebrows quirked up. "My _hair." _

"Yeah, your hair."

"Oh." Jack peered into Merida's face as if he wasn't sure if she was joking or not. "Well, Dollface, what exactly were you wondering about my…hair?"

"Did you dye it? I mean, it's a pretty thorough job and it must've taken awhile- does the dye come off in water or-"

"It's not dye."

Merida frowned. "Oh."

"Um, actually, I've never told anyone this before- it's sort of weird, really."

"Are you actually going to trust me with this sacrosanct secret?"

Jack snorted. "It's not a secret, it's just- no one's ever asked before. Guess they're afraid of me or something."

Merida grinned at him. "Afraid of _you? _You're not very scary, Jack."

Jack clutched a hand over his chest, feigning heartbreak. "_Merida!_ Why must you hurt me in this way?"

She giggled and scrunched her nose at him. "So, the secret? Go on, you've got my interest."

Jack gestured a bit wildly with his fingers. "Well, how do I put it- I think both my parents were brunettes. But I'm not sure." His expression dropped a bit but perked up as he continued. "I must've inherited some weird gene because somehow I'm like half albino."

"That explains the hair and the skin," Merida noted. "And I'm guessing your eye color wasn't affected."

Jack nodded an affirmation. Merida ran a hand through her own bright hair and shrugged. "That's actually pretty cool, Winter Prince."

Jack grinned. "I like to think that I really am Jack Frost, with hair the color of snow and skin like ice- and I go around in the winter air with my magic staff and draw frost pictures on the windows and make the snow fall down. And in the morning the world is white, and all the children adore me." His tone took on a slight sing-song voice, like he was telling her a story. Merida liked the sound of his voice- not that she'd be caught dead admitting it, of course. But it was a husky sort of voice and it always held some sort of emotion in it, even if his face didn't.

Merida clapped at the end of his little soliloquy. "Great story, Jack. Now, I have one more question."

Jack shot her an easy smile. "Go on."

"Does Jack Frost nip at people's noses, too?"

Jack spluttered, and Merida kept laughing.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so first of all: SUPERNATURALLLLL I JUST WATCHED THE NEW EPISODE AND NO SPOLERS BUT AHHHH**

_**AHHHHHHH**_

_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**_

**Ahem. Sorry.**

**Replies to reviews: **

**changeofheart505: Yep, moral of the story: never trust Jack. **

**Drama sapphire: Lol, poor hiccup indeed :)**

**AliceCullen3: THANK YOUUU**

**Mr. Insom: heh, merci! I appreciate it so much. **

**moonshroom420: lol! it must be admitted, I'm slightly pitying Snotty right now. **

**Cat: here chu are! :3**

**finewithbeingateennot: Preach it gurl. **

**nish0: aww, thank you so so much! It's always great when I can rope someone into the pairing ;)**

**Izwick: AHHH SMOOTHLESS YES this is now a thing. LIVE LONG AND PROSPER WITH LOTS OF DWARF GOLD AND EAR HATS MY FRIEND**

**RisingStar313: Thank you! :D**


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